Let's Begin Again
by Panda-chan1358
Summary: What if Joker, Dagger, Peter, and Wendy actually lived? How would Snake react to this? What if Ciel was still in his suitcase but got flung to the circus?... If you're confused about that, it's a long story how that happened. This contains spoilers so if you haven't watched all 3 seasons and read the Ship Voyage Arc don't read this story until you have to understand better
1. Chapter 1

**I said I wouldn't do another story until I finished one of them! (/'A')/ ... But here I am =w="**

* * *

_"Hehehehehe, what an interesting cinematic record, I hope the reapers won't mind me __interfering~..."_

_"Who... who are 'ee...?!"_

_"How about I help you with something~?"_

* * *

"Hannah! Triplets! Go after him!"

The four nodded as they ran after Sebastian.

"Finally..." Sebastian settled down the suitcase and opened it along with the tea box, revealing the Phantomhive ring.

Sebastian held up Ciel's hand and puts the ring on his left thumb.

Before he could say, 'it's time to wake up, bocchan' he heard rustling behind him. Sebastian closed the suitcase and stood up.

He turned only to turn back to see that Timber- er- Thompson had the suit case and about to flee when Canterbury- no wait- Timber had a broom stick about to attack Sebastian but then Thompson- wait- Canterbury jumped down from a nearby tree and was about to kick Sebastian from his back.

Sebastian sighed as he simply stepped to his right leading Canterbury kicking Timber in the face making the broom stick go flying and hit Thompson in the face who accidentally lost his grip on the suitcase letting it fly backwards to who knows where.

Sebastian stared at the suit case until it was out of sight in a dumbfounded way while Canterbury was unsure and feeling guilty about his knocked out brothers that were bleeding.

Hannah then came in a ready-to-fight position with her two knives then realized no one was moving and stood frozen.

"You lost Ciel and accidentally double K.O. ed your two brothers, didn't you?"

The two nodded and the three stood still and silently.

* * *

Joker blinked his eyes and slowly sat up in what seemed to be a bed.

_Hm? I'm back... at the circus?_

Joker looked at his surroundings to see Dagger, Peter, and Wendy in other beds beside him.

_Ow... my head really hurts..._

He held his head in pain and remember Doc's words before he fainted and quickly took his hand off of his head and looked at it and moved his fingers as though he was squeezing a ball.

_Why..._

He remembered that his other arms was cut off but when he saw it, it looked as though it was never cut off.

_How...?_

"Hehehehehehehe..."

Joker looked up to see a man in gray with long white hair covering his eyes.

"Who... who are 'ee...?!" Joker asked.

"You already asked that question, right~?" he cackled.

He then remembered in the midst of the burning mansion the very same man was there.

"I granted your wish, just know that your cinematic record entertained me quite much, especially when you were a ringmaster~," he cackled again with his long fingernails against his mouth.

"What... what are 'ee talking 'bout?" Joker asked.

"I found your little act quite entertaining with your friends and I let you live along with your friends, okay~? Be grateful~," he said.

"O-Oh yeah... I was about to die..." Joker murmured to himself and realized something.

"Wait, 'ee didn't save all of my friends, what 'bout Beast?! Doll?! Jumbo?! Snake?!" Joker asked.

"Well a legendary shinigami can't do everything~," he sang in an eerie tune.

"'Shinigamim'...?" Joker looked shocked.

"Well, I knew about your little entertaining act and I erased a part of your record that way you could perform your acts again without injuries," he said, "But I could only do that with the bodies that were retrievable."

"'Retrievable'...?" Joker began to look scared.

"You died of blood loss and your body was about to get burned up so I saved you just in time, while your knife throwing friend died from bullets to the back but of course I erased that, then the little girl got shot in the head while the little boy got shot in various places," he snickered.

"Then...?"

"The large guy was smashed to smithereens, the beast tamer was blown up to smithereens, and the petite tomboy died of unknown stuff, those three I couldn't retrieve their bodies since erasing records without the body takes A LOT more work than you think," he snickered more.

"No way..." Joker was shaking now.

"Well, your snake friend is alive still so he's good!" he said, then pointed to a bed.

He looked to his side to see Dagger waking up.

"Joker... why are you talking to yourself...?" Dagger sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Huh? But I wasn't..." Joker turned to see that he was gone.

"Eh... Joker?!" Dagger immediately woke up.

"W-What?!" Dagger checked his back but he just felt his back with no stitches, wounds, just plain skin.

"Agh, Dagger shut-!" Peter immediately sat up in bed and panicked while looking around.

"Peter...?" Wendy sat up, sleepy.

"Wendy!" Peter exclaimed.

"O-Oi, Joker! What's going on?!" Dagger panicked.

"Well-"

"Wait if I'm here, what about lady?!" Dagger looked around.

"Dagger! Calm down!" Joker yelled.

"R-Right..." Dagger hesitantly stopped.

"Take a deep breath."

Dagger took a deep breath in... then a suitcase ripped through the tent and came smacking right onto Daggers head.

"BLOODY H**L?!" Dagger yelled in surprise.

"Dagger!" Peter smacked his head for using such language.

"S-Sorry..." Dagger murmured while rubbing the back of his head in pain.

"What did hit you?" Wendy got out of her bed along with Joker and the group gathered up around the suitcase that was between the beds Dagger and Peter were in.

Wendy unlocked the suitcase and opened it and everyone stared in surprise.

"Smile?!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey! Smile, what are you doing in there?!" Dagger started shaking Ciel's arm.

"He looks like he's ready for a funeral," Peter murmured.

"Smile! Rise and shine!" Wendy started shaking Ciel's leg.

_What is Earl Phantomhive doing here? _Joker thought, then looked to his friends trying to wake up "Smile".

_Should I tell them the truth?_ Joker worried that the truth would upset his friends very much.

Ciel's hand eventually twitched at their constant movement on his limbs.

"Oh! Smile twitched!" Dagger beamed.

"Is that even a good sign?" Peter sweated.

"Mm..." Ciel slowly opened his eyes and sat up.

"Smile! Good thing your safe!" Wendy smiled.

"Even though you came and crashed onto my head..." Dagger sweated.

"Hm...?" Ciel rubbed his left eye to try and adjust to the sunlight coming from the hole in the circus tent.

_He was asleep through the ride?! _the group sweated at the thought of being stuck in a suitcase barely the size of your body, flying around, ripping through a circus tent, and landing on a knife-thrower's head.

"'Smile'...?" Ciel asked.

"Yeah! Smile!" Dagger smiled.

"... why?" Ciel asked.

"What do you mean 'why'? That's your name!" Peter looked at him oddly.

"What are you talking about?" Ciel stretched and yawned.

"Smile, did you hit your head too hard from the impact on Dagger's thick skull?" Wendy asked.

"Hey! What's that suppose to mean?!" Dagger yelled in offense.

"... Who are you?" Ciel asked.

The group froze in shock.

"Smile... you..." Dagger started.

"Jeez! Are you taking after Suit!" Dagger laughed while ruffling Ciel's hair.

"What do you mean? And stop messing with my hair!" Ciel pushed Dagger's hand off of his head.

"I'm not kidding! Who are you guys?! I've never met you before!" Ciel yelled.

"Eh...?" Dagger's smile slowly dropped.

"Oi! Did you really hit your head too hard?!" Wendy panicked.

"What do you mean?!" Ciel yelled.

"You came flying in that suitcase," Peter pointed to the suitcase Ciel was sitting in.

"What the?! Sebastian! What the heck did you do?!" Ciel yelled while looking for Sebastian.

"'Sebastian'? Oh, you mean Black!" Dagger said.

"'Black'?" Ciel looked at Dagger weirdly.

"Ear- Smile, can you really not remember us?" Joker corrected himself.

"Stop calling me that stupid name! My name is Ciel Phantomhive!" Ciel yelled.

"I think his head is totally messed up!" Peter whispered to Wendy.

"Well, he's a fellow circus member so we should at least help," Wendy whispered back.

Joker heard their whispering and couldn't help but feel guilty.

"Your name is Finnian but your circus name is Smile, remember?" Dagger asked.

"'Finnian'? Finnian is my gardener!" Ciel said.

"Yep, his head is total whack," Peter whispered.

"Well at least try," Wendy whispered back.

"Smile, don't you remember Noah's Ark Circus?" Wendy asked.

"No," Ciel plainly stated.

"Joker? Dagger? Doll? Any of those names ring a bell?" Wendy asked.

"No."

"Jeez! Who did this to you?!" Wendy complained as she kicked the suit case.

"Hey! I'm still in here!" Ciel yelled.

"Can you move?" Dagger shifted so he was sitting on the side of the bed and held out a hand.

"No, I'm fine," Ciel got up by himself but fell back down from a sudden headache.

"Come on, you're not fine," Joker said.

Ciel looked over to Dagger, who smiled, and grumpily took a hold of his hand to get up and out of the suitcase.

"So now what? He obviously doesn't remember us and totally mixed himself up with an earl," Peter sighed.

"Hm..." Wendy thought for a moment.

"Would there be anything to jog up his memory here?" Joker asked.

"Oh! His costume!" Wendy pointed out.

"Oh yeah! I'll go get it!" Peter ran of to get his costume.

"'Costume'?" Ciel looked oddly at Dagger.

"You auditioned and got in the circus with Black," Dagger said.

"The only costumes I remember are the ones Elizabeth gets me," Ciel said.

"'Elizabeth'?" Wendy asked.

"My fiancée."

"EH?!"

"A-Are you talking about Ciel Phantomhive or do you really have a fiancée?!" Dagger asked.

"What? I am Ciel Phantomhi-"

"This generation is so bold these days!" Wendy blushed.

"Why are you acting like you're older?"

"That's because she is older," Joker smiled, joining in.

"What?! Really?!" Ciel shouted.

"I brought the costume and face-paint!" Peter came in with blue face-paint and Ciel's costume.

"Wait, wha-?!"

"Oh! C'mon Smile! Let's put you in the costume!" Wendy clapped her hands together.

"Hold o-"

"C'mon Smile! Take off your shirt!" Dagger took Ciel's shirt off quickly making Ciel spin around.

"Kyaah!" Wendy shrieked as she covered her eyes while blushing.

Joker watched as Dagger was trying to take off Ciel's clothes while Ciel was trying to hold onto his clothes while Peter was trying to put on the costume and Wendy trying to not look at Ciel while blushing.

Joker sighed and smiled at the group getting back into spirit and could see Beast, Doll, and Jumbo laughing at their antics too.

"Joker! Help with the face paint!" Peter yelled.

"Okay, okay!" Joker sighed as he walked over to help.


	3. Chapter 3

**THIS IS IMPORTANT PLEASE READ**

**So I plan on drawing all of my fanfics into comics... yeah, not going to happen all at once =w=" I'm going to be busy with school and stuff in the future so of course I can't draw all of my comics in those periods of time, so, I decided to do a poll.**

**On the poll you can vote for which one of my fanfics I should draw next and the poll will end on the beginning of December along with me posting the first few pages on Christmas (consider the first pages a Christmas gift).**

**...**

**Well, technically, the poll doesn't end there with only one out of all of my fanfics drawn. I plan to draw all of my fanfics so, once I get the beginning of my fanfic drawn and posted the choice on the poll for that specific fanfic will be deleted since it's already done, and the poll will begin again on New Years or beginning of February excluding that fanfic choice, that way I can finish drawing my fanfics.**

**Confused? Example: Let's say this fanfic was voted the most and I close the poll at the beginning of December and I posted the first few pages on Christmas, then, when I start this poll again, this fanfic is no longer a choice, but when it's no longer a choice it doesn't mean it won't be updated as a comic anymore.**

**Eventually it will build up, I think, but hey, it helps.**

**Why am I doing this?  
Because starting to draw all of them at once is not going to help my schedule, so I'm doing it one by one.**

**Where can you find my comics?  
I have a deviantart account which is PandaLover1358, also, I do have a link directly to my account in my profile.**

**The poll isn't on my profile!  
... Crap, I don't know how to answer that, this is my very first poll ever, so there's bound to be something bad happening. (But if it does work please do tell me)**

**Have any more questions?  
Just PM me or leave a review asking about it.**

**And let's finally get this chapter going! (Thank you for reading) =w="**

* * *

Ciel stared at himself unbelievably at the mirror placed in front of him.

"I think this is worse than the one's Elizabeth gets me and my servants..." Ciel murmured.

"Does this ring any bell?" Wendy asked, hoping for a yes.

"No..." Ciel took off his hat.

"You sure?" Dagger asked.

"I said no, now where's Sebastian?" Ciel shoved the hat into Dagger's hands and walked off.

"Now where's the ex-!"

Ciel then bumped into someone/thing and fell backwards onto his butt (hinie? Bosom?).

"'Ow!' says Emily."

The four circus members brightened up as they saw Snake with his snakes at the entrance.

"Snake! Where were 'ee?!" Joker exclaimed.

"Everyone...!" Snake's eyes widened.

.

.

.

Then Snake started crying making the others jolt in surprise.

"O-Oi?! Why are you crying?!" Dagger panicked.

"I'm just happy... to see... you guys... again...!" Snake said while crying.

"Wah! 'Ee are not quoting 'ee's snakes!" Joker smiled.

"'I'm not crying!' says Wordsworth...!" Snake was still crying along with Wordsworth who was on his shoulder.

The others sweated.

"Anyways, where were 'ee?" Joker asked.

"And what are you wearing?" Peter pointed to the butler outfit Snake is wearing.

"'A butler uniform,'" says Wordsworth," Snake said while wiping the tears away.

"Why?" Dagger asked.

"'He became a footman while we were searching for you guys,' says Emily," Snake said.

"'I couldn't keep the bed warm for you though...' says Emily," Snake said while Emily hissed.

"You couldn't keep a bed warm anyways!" Dagger yelled.

"Hello...?"

"Eh, I see you're still popular!" Peter elbowed him lightly while smirking.

"Hello?"

"I DON'T WANT TO BE POPULAR WITH SNAKES!" Dagger yelled.

"HELLO?!"

Everyone paused and turned to see Ciel still on the floor and not looking happy but looking grumpy and confused.

"Just what the heck is going on?!" Ciel yelled.

"Smile!" Snake said.

"Ah...!" Wendy remembered and looked down while having a somewhat guilty look while the boys exchanged concerned and unknowing looks towards each other.

"'Is something wrong?' asks Bronte," Snake asked.

"Well..." Wendy twiddled with her thumbs.

"How to put it... somethin' happened to Smile," Joker said while scratching the back of his head.

Snake tilted his head in confusion.

"Why do you keep calling me Smile?!" Ciel yelled.

"'Because Smile's name is Smile,' says Wordsworth," Snake said.

"Hah?" Ciel looked at Snake in a weird way.

"Do you not remember Snake either?" Wendy asked.

"Snake?" Ciel asked. Snake looked at Ciel worriedly, "'Not remember'...?"

"It seems like he forgot us," Peter said.

"Smile...?" Snake asked.

"Stop calling me that!" Ciel ordered, "Who are you even?!"

_Does Snake not know either? _Joker worried.

It looked as though Snake's ahoge dropped (aw ('A')) when he heard that. Snake held out his hand so Ciel could get up. Ciel grumbled and mumbled a few things under his breath then held onto Snake's hand to get up.

_Huh? _Ciel thought as he got up and remembered something similar to this.

"Why is this... familiar?" Ciel murmured.

Snake jumped a bit at hearing that... and looked like he was on the verge of crying happy tears.

"Oi!" Ciel sweated.

"I'm not crying! Says Wordsworth...!" Snake said while holding back the tears.

"You're not even quoting your snakes!" Ciel yelled as the albino was somewhat in denial(?)

"Alright!" Dagger exclaimed as he pushed Ciel's hat onto Ciel's head low enough so it was covering his eye.

"Hey! What was that for?!" Ciel yelled while pushing the hat up a bit.

"Well, we need to figure out somethings, you know?" Dagger said.

"Like who the heck are you guys?" Ciel deadpanned.

"That's not it!" Dagger yelled while sweating a bit.

"I think he's saying like what happened with the whole familiar thing?" Peter asked.

"How should I know! It just felt familiar!" Ciel yelled.

"'He really did forget...' says Bronte," Snake said with his ahoge dropping a bit again.

"I believe we're just as confused as 'ee are," Joker murmured. Sure he knew about how they lived but he couldn't figure out what happened to Ciel's memories and if Snake knew that he wasn't Smile.

"Ah! If only Black was here!" Peter groaned.

"Yeah, Black seems to know a lot about these stuff and is closest to Smile," Wendy agreed.

"'I can't smell Black,' says Oscar," Snake said.

"'By the way, the three servants blew up parts of the mansion and it needs to be rebuild,' says Oscar," Snake said with a finger pointed up.

It took a few seconds to make things click in Ciel's head.

"Those idiots...!" Ciel grumbled as the other circus members looked at each other confused.

* * *

"Achoo!" Finny, Mey-Rin, and Bard sneezed at the same time while cleaning up the rubble.


	4. Chapter 4

"I can't believe you lost Ciel!"

*SHATTER*

"I'm sorry-"

"You better be! I can't believe how useless you are! Now get out of my sight!"

"Yes..."

Hannah quickly got to her feet and ran out of the room while holding her bleeding forehead.

"Tch, how did this even happen?!" Alois bit his thumb in frustration, then turned to Claude, "Claude! Get the triplets!"

Claude nodded and retrieved the triplets.

"Now, who's fault was it?"

Thompson pointed to Timber who pointed to Canterbury who pointed to Thompson.

"... what?"

"Speak," Claude ordered.

"Timber hit me with the broom stick-"

"Canterbury kicked me in the face-"

"Thompson was the one holding Ciel-"

"It was the butler's fault," the three answered together.

Alois and Claude just stared at the three in a dumbfounded way.

* * *

"Smile, smile!" Joker yelled.

"How am I suppose to be smiling when my life depends on a flimsy rope!" Ciel yelled while trying to keep balance while tight rope walking.

"Hang in there!" Dagger yelled as he was worried that if he falls the little boy would go splat.

"Haha! Very funny!" Ciel yelled in sarcasm.

"It wasn't meant to be a pun!" Dagger panicked.

"Oh yeah like tight rope walking would help jog my memor-" Ciel then lost his footing and fell and the rope tied to his waist didn't help either since it snapped.

"Smile!" Snake ran over and caught Ciel bridal style just in time.

"Ugh..." Ciel grumbled as Joker and Dagger ran over to the two.

"S-So, are you oka-"

"WHY ARE YOU ASKING THAT I WAS ABOUT TO DIE!" Ciel yelled.

"Now let me go!" Ciel yelled while struggling to get down.

"'Y-Yes...' says Dan," Snake puts Ciel onto his feet and got swatted away by Ciel, who afterwards stomped to the exit. Snake quickly followed Ciel.

"Did Snake become Smile's butler while we were asleep?" Dagger looked at the two oddly.

"I guess..." Joker then remembered something, "Smile! There's another one! And it's less life threatening than this o-"

"YOU SAID THE SAME THING ABOUT THIS ONE!"

"Aah, this is not going well!" Dagger ran after the two.

"You sure we shouldn't give up?" Peter asked Joker.

"I'm not sure anymore if Smile is retrievable..." Joker sighed.

"Come on! Don't give up!" Wendy encouraged.

* * *

"Knife throwing?" Ciel asked as Dagger gave him knives.

"Yeah! That was the thing you did to get into the circus!" Dagger reassured.

"Mm..." Ciel grumbled as he took a knife from the pile Dagger just gave him.

"Go ahead, try it," Dagger said.

Ciel examined the blade closely.

"What if I cut my finger off?"

"Do you not trust us that much?!" Dagger sweated.

"In fact, yes, if this guy didn't catch me then I would have been dead!" Ciel pointed to Snake in emphasis.

"Smile, we're just trying to help you remember," Dagger said.

"Well it doesn't help if you keep calling me by that stupid name!" Ciel yelled as he threw the knives onto the ground and stomped to who knows where.

"'Maybe he's frustrated that he can't remember,' says Wordsworth," Snake said.

"I'm really worried about the little guy," Dagger murmured as he picked up the knives.

"I'm guessing knife throwing didn't go well either?" Peter asked as he came with Wendy and Joker.

"Yeah," Dagger sighed as he walked off to his tent.

"Come on! Let's cheer him up!" Wendy said as she didn't wait for Peter to answer and dragged him over to Dagger's tent.

"I do really wonder what happened to Smile's memories," Joker said.

"'Let's help him, and keep trying,' says Emily," Snake said.

"I understand, but it's difficult if he's not willing to even be _near_ us," Joker said.

"'That's true...' says Emily," Snake said.

"So where have 'ee been while we were asleep?" Joker asked, taking a better look at Snake's outfit.

"'Snake became a footman of Smile's!' says Oscar," Snake said.

"Then 'ee know that Smile isn't Smile?" Joker asked.

"'Yes,' says Oscar," Snake said.

"Then what should we do? 'Ee has become familiar with the earl if 'ee is his footman, right?"

"'I wouldn't know,' says Wordsworth, 'If Smile can't remember Snake then how is this suppose to work?'"

"'Ee is right," Joker sighed.

Meanwhile, Ciel had found a nearby pond and threw a couple of rocks into the pond.

"Tch, this is stupid," Ciel murmured as he looked at his reflection in the water.

"Where's that stupid butler..."

Ciel then heard a neigh and looked up to see a saddled horse across from the pond. He thought he saw a person with brown hair and freckles by the horse but when he blinked no one was there except for the horse.

"What is a horse doing here?" Ciel asked as the horse walked around and nuzzled it's head against his arm.

"..." Ciel stroked the horse's head when he noticed something.

The horse...

Was eating...

His _shirt_...

"AAAAHHHHHH!"

"Smile?! Smile!" Dagger yelled as the group ran through the forest.

The group finally reached a pond and froze at the sight.

They saw Ciel being lifted up by the horse by his shirt while the horse was chewing his shirt.

The group sweated and stood there in dumbfounded-ness.


	5. Chapter 5

"Isn't that Doll's horse?" Dagger gasped in realization.

"Hey! That is!" Peter shouted.

"But where's Doll?" Wendy asked worriedly as she looked around.

"Are you guys just going to ignore that this horse is EATING MY SHIRT?!" Ciel yelled.

Snake calmly walked over and pull Ciel out as though he was a doll and puts him on the ground.

Ciel sighs as he could feel some wind on his back through the torn shirt, which the horse ate.

"This hole is pretty big..." Ciel murmured as he could press his entire hand onto his back through the hole.

"'The horse was probably hungry,' says Emily," Snake took off his blazer and puts it around Ciel's shoulders, that way Ciel didn't get cold.

Ciel held the front of the blazer so it didn't fall off of his shoulders.

He then looked up to Snake as the others ran over to examine the horse.

"You... Why are you helping me?" Ciel asked with a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"... I'm your footman," Snake answered.

Ciel scrunched his eyebrows together. When did he hire him?

Emily slithered out of the sleeve of the blazer and made it's way onto Ciel's shoulder.

He cringed to suppress a scream from coming out of his mouth.

"'Don't worry, I'm as poisonous as the others!" says Emily," Snake said as Emily hissed.

"That still means you're poisonous!" Ciel jolted.

"Doll! Doll?!" Dagger yelled in different directions.

"Does 'ee remember what happened to Doll before 'ee -er- blacked out?" Joker asked.

"Well, before we went into the mansion, we had split up, uh, then..." Peter bit the bottom of his lip, trying his best to remember where Doll had went.

"She rode her horse to go warn you about something, um, what was it about again...?" Wendy couldn't quite piece together what had happened either.

"This is bad, if she's hurt to the point that she can't move or speak...!" Dagger panicked.

"Aaaaaahhhh we need to search the forest!" Wendy shouted.

The horse neighed in response before they could run around the forest.

"What is it?" Peter turned to the horse.

The horse bit the back of Peter's shirt and lifted him up by it.

"Wh-What the?!" Peter yelled.

The horse then ran off with Peter back to the circus.

"W-Wait!" Wendy chased after the horse to get back Peter.

. . .

"Should we go on without them?" Dagger sweated.

"It's getting pretty late though," Joker said as he saw the sky darkening.

~GROWL~

Everyone turned to the source of the sound... which was Ciel's stomach.

The other three blinked a few times to make sure they were hearing right (not like blinking will help with hearing).

Joker chuckled making Ciel blush a bit.

"Seems like someone's hungry!" Dagger grinned.

"Sh-Shut up!" Ciel yelled.

"'I am partially hungry too,' says Dan," Snake said with a little snake poking out of his hair.

"Alright! Let's head back and make 'ee some dinner," Joker smiled.

* * *

"Eh?!" Finny, Mey-Rin and Bard shouted in unison.

"Like. I. Said. Before." Sebastian emphasized each word while quietly yet somehow forcefully closed the door to Elizabeth's room, who had come over during the evening to play and is now currently sleeping.

The three immediately shut their mouths for 1) remembering that she was asleep, 2) Elizabeth would FREAK OUT so badly if she found out, and 3) Sebastian is practically threatening them.

"Young master is somewhere, but I am unsure where," Sebastian said.

"But can't you usually find Ciel?" Finny asked worriedly.

Sebastian sighs. Usually he can track him down if the seal on Ciel's eyes was visible but Ciel didn't take off his eye patch for the entire day (not even when the others forced him into his circus outfit- let me rephrase that- he _couldn't_ with them throwing him into all sorts of problems).

So his plans were either to wait until Ciel takes off his eye patch or do a search party in the morning.

"We will try a search party in the morning," Sebastian said, thinking that Ciel _might_ be in some ridiculous situation he got himself caught into _again_ that _might_ not let him do as he wants.

"By the way, where is Snake?" Sebastian asked.

"Ah," the three blinked a few times in a dumbfounded way. They then quietly freaked out, realizing they had no idea where Snake had gone, and started to run around in circles like a chicken who's head has been cut off (which Sebastian thought of taking it literally).

Sebastian face-palmed as he deeply sighed with Tanaka in the back round, calmly sipping his tea and laughing like he usually does.

At times like this, he really needed cats roaming around the mansion.


	6. Chapter 6

**THIS IS IMPORTANT PLEASE READ**

**So as you guys know I haven't updated. ANYTHING.**

**I have grown extremely forgetful to the point I haven't been spoiling my lovely readers with updates and that's probably making you depressed and thinking about that- well- makes me depressed =w="**

**Dunno about you guys, but I jump from fandoms to fandoms a lot and once I get back into a fandom I tend to obsess over it a whole lot more and longer so everything's a mess.**

**This poll won't be closed until I get at least two fanfics done and over with.**

**I will check this poll weekly and whoever's voting level is higher is the one I will update (so basically weekly updates on whichever has the highest vote depending on each week) (More than once a week if I have time).**

**I know I said I would get another poll to make one of my fanfics into a comic for this year or something like that, but the fact that I haven't been spoiling my lovely readers with updates lately AND the fact that I have TONS of incomplete stories is REALLY getting on my nerves, so I'm going to have to break that promise on having a comic each year.**

**You're probably like, "Woah, why do we get to choose at the most five?" ... you do know how many Super Smash Bros fanfics I have, right? =w= "**

**As usual, if you have any questions leave it as a review or PM me.**

**Thank you for reading and lets get this chapter going.**

* * *

Ciel stared at the food in a skeptical way.

"Is something wrong?" Joker asked after swallowing his food.

"C'mon now, Smile, it's not like we poisoned it," Dagger smiled reassuringly.

"You poisoned it-"

"I just said we didn't," Dagger sweated.

"For all I know you guys could be trying to kill me-"

"We're not!" Dagger sweated more.

"'You can't be picky about your food, Smile. You need your nutrition or else you'll stay small forever!' says Emily," Snake said.

"Tell that to them," Ciel pointed to Peter and Wendy.

"Having a sharp tongue will really kill ya one day," Peter twitched.

"And that just proves my point that you guys are trying to kill me," Ciel smirked.

"You...!" Peter cringed in irritation.

"Peter, calm down, after all he's just a kid still," Wendy patted Peter on the back worriedly.

"I'm going to bed," Ciel sighs before getting out of his chair and walking out of the tent.

"Aah jeez, such a picky child," Dagger sighed.

"Maybe if Black was here he would eat some food," Wendy said.

"Yeah, but we don't know where he went," Peter pointed out.

"'Should we bring out some food for him?' asks Emily," Snake said while picking up Ciel's untouched plate.

"Yes, please do," Joker dismissed him with a sigh.

* * *

"What should we do if we can't find him?" Finny asked.

"I don't want to think about that," Sebastian sighed for the umpteenth time that night. _Why has he not taken off his eye patch yet? _in the inside he was practically fuming and extremely irritated and tired, but he needed to keep a composed image, after all, he is one he-

"What if the Trancy household has him?" god dang it Mey-Rin.

In the inside, something snapped, causing Sebastian to punch the wall yet somehow make no noise but still causing damage (he needed to vent his anger somehow without waking up Elizabeth), making the others silently scream and hide behind Tanaka.

"I... don't want to think about that either...!" he up and forced a smile.

"S-Sebastian, a-are you a-alright...?" Bard asked hesitantly.

"Depends, do you want the blunt or the sarcastic answer?" he said with a less forceful smile but was now crushing the debris with the same hand that punched the poor wall.

"I'm sorry..." Bard meekly apologized as the three hid behind Tanaka more.

Tanaka took a sip of tea and laughed his usual laugh in the suffocating silence that now filled the hall.


	7. Please Try to Understand

Do you guys remember when I updated this story crazy fast? When everything was a fun roller-coaster ride with silly ideas to put our favorite characters through? When I **stopped** updating?

Hey guys, it's Panda-chan here, trying to survive crazy college prep high schools with constant neck breaking studying and trying to socialize with other people your age and failing terribly but laughing it off with your old friends.

Lately, out of pure boredom, I've been getting into K-pop (a.k.a. what plenty of anime freaks have come to move on to). So far, I've been loving discovering these innocent yet sassy male divas and seeing idols stay humble and caring throughout their tough lives. But at one point through this ride, I remembered some things:

**I still have readers.**

**They probably want an update now.**

**Hurry up with that new chapter!**

And so, as I learn more and more about K-pop, I've been trying to get back into my silly old fandoms that are still alive and running with old and new fans. After a while, I finally remembered why I loved these characters so much, why I liked to draw them so much, why I liked to write about them so much.

I was **enjoying** old and new videos on Youtube, feeling **nostalgic** and **inspired** to finally write a new chapter, to finally update. But mid-way through a video, I felt those stupid negative feelings again: **loneliness**, **sadness**, **depression**.

You know, I realized something after feeling my heart constrict in pain from those feelings:

**I wrote these stories when I was depressed.**

I know, I know, it may not seem like it with the silly screaming, retorts, and =w=" faces, in fact, I didn't realize it either. I was just a silly middle school girl constantly **denying** and **ignoring **that she was depressed. I realized plenty of things about my stories:

**I wrote these stories when nobody was physically there to listen to my ideas.**

**I wrote these stories so that these characters didn't have to suffer when I was going through.**

**I wrote these stories so that readers can have a better time living and enjoyed their current lifestyle while I didn't.**

When I was in middle school, people never noticed me nor talk to me.  
By 6th grade, my best friend since 3rd grade who was suffering from family problems, depression with suicidal thoughts, and bullying was forced to leave to a new middle school and we eventually never contacted each other ever again.  
In the summer of 2013, my old, silly geezer of an uncle, who was really never related by law or blood to me and was rather a really good friend to my family, who raised me up and supported me ever since I was born, died unexpectedly.  
By 7th grade, my friend from 5th grade suddenly came but left because people were still bullying her for being fat and even then did I realize that we were loosing our spark as friends.  
My parents grew busier with working and my older brother grew busier with high school.  
There was no one there for me, and even then, I was too ignorant to realize that I was depressed.

I think people never chose to talk to me because of my natural glare and frown face from having stereotypical Asian-pointed eyes and **they thought that I was depressed and/or hated the world**. **Well, I didn't, until they decided to ignore me or try to be my pity friends but would end up ditching me_._**

**There are people who get hurt so much mentally that they feel the need to apply it physically**, and **there are people who get hurt so much mentally that the pain soon becomes numb.**

The latter obviously applied to me, **numbing out my senses of sympathy and increasing my senses of indifference to others**, basically thinking whenever people tried to socialize with me, **"Oh, you're just going to leave me like the others too."**

After my friend left in 7th grade though, there was a change throughout my monochromatic life. A loner girl, who I haven't had any classes with until now, partnered up with me when her friend picked someone else over her. Obviously, I didn't think much of it, but after working with her, we actually became good friends and she is such a weirdo and has such a quirky life, but I regained some of my senses again.

She introduced her other friends to me: a sassy, short blonde girl that may seem like a total jerk at first but is funny and silly, a Fairy Tail fangirl that wouldn't stop bothering me in Art History and would end up practically being my best friend, a silly girl who I felt most comfortable being myself with, and the seemingly flower-y, innocent, nice girl who was actually extremely sarcastic and knew how to fight back.

Just a small group of 6 friends, but our bonds were strong.

In 8th grade, where I basically started hanging out with them the entire school day, that's when my updates started to buffer out of lost of interest and being able to tell others my idea who I knew would be there for me.

Now that I'm finally happy again, it's **terrifying** feeling those dreaded feelings again. Maybe you understand now why I hesitate on updating now, maybe you don't, but **I really am too scared to drown in the feeling of loneliness again when writing for this fandom that I loved so much when I was alone.**

You know, I almost had a heart-attack when I saw how the amount of followers dropped in almost half of a year of no updating. It was weird because for some reason, to me, it was interesting seeing how many people chose to leave and move on. But really, thank you:

(... Wait not much has changed here so this note is slightly different =w=")

For sticking with me throughout the story.

Now, I would have ditched my stories seeing how so little people are still with me, but so what about quantity? I learned a lot about choosing friends depending on quality, not quantity, so **I have a 2 choices for you guys to choose**:

1) "Give the story to someone else so that it will be finished for us."

2) "It may take a while to no longer feel terrified, and maybe it will never happen, but we'll wait for you to finish it."

One last message here: **if you see someone alone, who you know has done nothing wrong, maybe even nothing good, please try to get to know them, please try to be their friend. Who knows, you might end up as the greatest buds ;P**

Sincerely from Panda-chan1358, I love you guys! :3


End file.
